Dating a transgender person is not much different from dating anybody else — except that, unfortunately, it still carries a lot of stigma in our society. For that reason, Redditor azure-skies-123 was worried about his crush on a transgender classmate, and he turned to Reddit for advice, Women’s Health reports.
“There is a trans girl [17 F] in my [17 M] school that I can’t get out of my mind. I have a massive crush on her but I’m also afraid of social suicide if I ask her out,” he explained in the title of the post. He elaborated in the post itself, which has since been deleted, that they got to know each other while drawing portraits of each other in art club. “I can’t even begin to explain how absolutely and painfully beautiful this girl is,” he wrote. “She totally makes me feel lovesick. If I were a cartoon my eyes would turn into hearts and leap from their sockets whenever I see her. She makes me feel weak in the knees… the butterflies in my belly are aggressive and many… I could write poetry about this woman.” Aww.
His little brother suggested he give her flowers on Valentine’s Day. However, his sister warned him that dating a transgender person could cause “drama” at school, and he’s afraid his friends would reject him.
People jumped in to tell him not to let other people stand in the way of something so special, with many agreeing with his little brother, though others suggested not presenting the flowers publicly in case she’s uncomfortable. “What your fears are and what you’re describing, those are only probably 1/20th of the fears and worries this girl had to confront this society and declare who she was,” Redditor jakabab pointed out. “So now that you’ve seen a peak [sic] into that, you also get to decide the kind of person you want to let the world know you are.”
“It sounds like you’re super into her,” added BackstrokeB*tch. “Don’t worry what people say, it’s your relationship, not theirs. If you like this girl, ask her out! The most important thing is to treat her like a normal girl while still keeping in mind that she is trans and that’s probably a pretty big part of her identity and she might not be comfortable with doing certain dating type activities.”
CannibalBun, a transgender person, reassured the original poster that while bullies went after them and their boyfriend for a little while, they eventually gave up, and the relationship has continued for eight years.
Even Laverne Cox, actress, transgender activist, and Cosmo‘s first openly transgender cover star, gave her two cents on Twitter. “Omg if I could advise this young man I would say that life is so much bigger than high school, and if this young woman makes you as happy as it seems, you must go towards that happiness,” she wrote. “Love sets us free. Make her feel as special as she is and as you see her.” Whatever decision he ends up making, the Internet is collectively hoping he does what’s best for himself and for his crush, not anybody else. Hopefully some day the gender of the person you choose to date won’t even be part of the discussion.